i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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