So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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