that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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