i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
