She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
