Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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