Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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