I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Oh god it's open bar.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize