I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
