Cold hands, warm shart.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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