new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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