i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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