the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
