there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize