You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just made out with a guy for $7.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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