Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
