I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize