i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
