I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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