you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
