So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize