stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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