How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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