If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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