I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
