i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
