Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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