I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
