Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
