Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
