you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
