I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
