Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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