I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
