Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think my mom watched the whole time
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
