i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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