i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
wow bdsm is so cute
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
