I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
