Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Panties = found
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
