I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
