Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize