She's JV to your varsity
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
