fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
