you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize