yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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