Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
