NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
