I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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