You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
