I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
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