It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
