and i looked up. we had an audience...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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