Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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