u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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