should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
