If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
