i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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