I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
